The promise was a Linux/Apache/MySQL/PHP server install in about 15 minutes. The reality, on a 450 MHz Pentium II with 128 MB of RAM, wasn't bad at all. Here are my notes:

21:40 choose 'Install a command-line system' from alternate install CD
21:41 detect keyboard by hunting for foreign letter keys - fun!
21:42 scanning CD
21:44 pause to bid on stroller parts on eBay
21:46 enter hostname
21:47 partioning
21:49 choose timezone
21:50 add user steve
21:51 'installing base system'
22:02 'select and install software' (automatic)
21:08 GRUB boot loader install (automatic)
21:09 'finishing install'
21:10 reboot, smoke test
21:14 stuck at 'Running local boot scripts'
21:18 google suggests hitting enter; it works; login prompt appears
21:21 sudo apt-get install openssh-server
21:36 adduser beowulf pwpwpwpw
      adduser ray pwpwpwpw
23:15 copied legacy /etc/shadow lines for users, hoping to restore old passwords
      sudo aptitude update
      sudo aptitude upgrade [lots of security updates]
      sudo passwd root pwpwpwpwpwpwpwpwpw

So in half an hour I had a running server. I still had to install several server components, but it couldn't be easier with this aptitude thing. When I mistakenly tried to blog when not logged in with my blogging account, it even told me how and what to install:

root@hecat:/home/steve/nano# nb -u all
The program 'nb' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing:
apt-get install nanoblogger
Make sure you have the 'universe' component enabled

With no graphical software installed, df reports under a gig used on /dev/hda1, discounting my bloated homedir.