flog

Bin ich schöner                  | am i beatifuller?

zerschneid mir das Gesicht       | cut me on the face

bin ich stärker                  | am i stronger?

brich feige mein Genick          | break my cowardly neck

bin ich klüger                   | am i smarter? 

töte mich und iss mein Hirn      | dead me and eat my brain

Hab ich dein Weib                | have i thy wife?

töte mich und iss mich ganz auf  | dead me and eat me up completely

dann iss mich ganz auf           | then eat me up completely



Bin ich ehrlicher                | am i honester?

beiß mir die Zunge ab            | bite me the tongue off

bin ich reicher                  | am i richer?

dann nimm mir alles              | then take from me everything

bin ich mutiger                  | am i courageouser?

töte mich und iss mein Herz      | dead me and eat my heart

Hab ich dein Weib                | have I thy wife?

töte mich und iss mich ganz auf  | dead me and eat me up completely

dann iss mich ganz auf           | then eat me up completely

doch leck den Teller ab          | surely lick the plate off!



Es kocht die Eifersucht          | it cooks the jealousy



Hab ich so glatte Haut           | have I so clear a hide?

zieh sie in Streifen ab          | pull it off in strips

Hab ich die klaren Augen         | have I the clear eyes?

nimm mir das Licht               | take from me the light

Hab ich die reine Seele          | have i the pure soul?

töte sie in Flammen              | dead her in the flames

Habe ich dein Weib dann          | have i thy wife?

töte mich und iss mich ganz auf  | dead me and eat me up completely

dann iss mich ganz auf           | then eat me up completely

doch leck den Teller ab          | Definitely lick the plate off!



Es kocht die Eifersucht          | it cooks the jealousy

* ridiculously literal translation by beowulf for his own amusement

This is a list that GC and I compiled of software that Beowulf hates with all his black little ♥

1. Adobe Acrobat and their fucking POS update manager


2. Real Player (enough said)


3. Any Apple software for Windows (iTunes, QuickTime, Safari) - not only does it violate Windows UI conventions, it inevitably comes with a nagware updater that I didn't ask to install


Just let me control how my software gets upgraded. Btw, Firefox did this the right way.

Help me, Satan!
The Lord has his wrath upon me.
I have fornicated with loose women.
I have drunk myself into...a state of inebriation.
I have acted criminally upon my fellow man, and I am glad!
Satan!
Can I get an Amen? Amen!

Do not listen to anyone.

I came across this by way of the Gibson blog. (Astute readers may have figured out I just recently logged into my bloglines account after a long absence.) My favorite headline.

"The Bush administration is ending. If Bush & Co. didn’t entirely wreck the place, it was for no lack of trying. George himself achieved astonishing depths of failure. His most notable achievements were all unintentional, and he still doesn’t know what they were.

Here’s the biggest one: Although the American people have been fed a diet of cynical disinformation about government for the last half-century or more, the Bush years re-taught millions of them that voting is important, that established parties aren’t identical, that primaries are a mechanism for assessing and refining candidates, and that campaign speeches don’t have to consist entirely of hot air and patriotic-sounding generalities.

There will be histories written about the Bush administration. They’ll be privy to information we don’t have yet, because the future is like that. On the other hand, we have our own privileged knowledge: We know how the story looked like to people who didn’t know how it was going to come out.

Now, in this moment before a changing world overwrites our memories of the era, let us pause to salute our constant companion of those years: The Onion. Other histories of the Bush years will doubtless be more factual, but none will ever be truer. "