Friday, September 05 2008: The Other Story of Votan, by S. K.
Chapter 9A
In which the foot of the abbey is reached, and William demonstrates his acumen
Long ago, in the dim ages of 1996 there lived a servant of Zod named Votan. He pretty much just minded his own business making things out of leaves. That is until one day when Zod decided to be clever and sent neighboring tribes and distant enemies to mock Votan with the vilest of refrains, including but not necessarily limited to "Votan Wotan little poopy Potan" (there is textual support only for the one refrain noted here, but I have it on good authority that the NTADE used other taunts, as well, including "Votan Votan bo Botan, banana-fana Fo Fotan, me my Motan, Votan...sucks!" and "It is our considered opinion that you carry about you in the neighborhood of your person an odor that is reminiscent of shit."). No one knows why the NTADE descended upon Votan that fateful day to disrupt his peaceful existence, but they did. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Anyway, the power of their taunts was so great that Votan ran away, a broken shell of a leafsmith.
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While in exile, the NTADE took over Votan's leafsmith business and promptly ran it into the ground by using it as a front to launder money from their illicit goat prostitution cartel. They also prayed to Zod who turned Votan's wife into a goat, which the NTADE then prostituted out. All of Votan's children were given lollipops despite having early onset Type II diabetes. They promptly slipped into comas and died, but not before their feet fell off. What, they were really big lollipops - you know, the kind you get at the carnival that are stuck atop a dowel rod. As if that weren't enough, they setup one of those text mailboxes where you could text the word "ASSHAT" to the mailbox's number and you could listen to a "yo momma" joke about Votan's dearly departed Oma. Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that the NTADE's humiliation of Votan was utter and complete. If you have any other good ideas for illustrating this point, feel free to add them using the "add comment" link below. Personally, I'm already growing tired of this story and it's only half done. Christ, does anyone want to finish this for me?
In which the foot of the abbey is reached, and William demonstrates his acumen
Long ago, in the dim ages of 1996 there lived a servant of Zod named Votan. He pretty much just minded his own business making things out of leaves. That is until one day when Zod decided to be clever and sent neighboring tribes and distant enemies to mock Votan with the vilest of refrains, including but not necessarily limited to "Votan Wotan little poopy Potan" (there is textual support only for the one refrain noted here, but I have it on good authority that the NTADE used other taunts, as well, including "Votan Votan bo Botan, banana-fana Fo Fotan, me my Motan, Votan...sucks!" and "It is our considered opinion that you carry about you in the neighborhood of your person an odor that is reminiscent of shit."). No one knows why the NTADE descended upon Votan that fateful day to disrupt his peaceful existence, but they did. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Anyway, the power of their taunts was so great that Votan ran away, a broken shell of a leafsmith.
This story is brought to you with limited commercial interruption by Asshat.com
While in exile, the NTADE took over Votan's leafsmith business and promptly ran it into the ground by using it as a front to launder money from their illicit goat prostitution cartel. They also prayed to Zod who turned Votan's wife into a goat, which the NTADE then prostituted out. All of Votan's children were given lollipops despite having early onset Type II diabetes. They promptly slipped into comas and died, but not before their feet fell off. What, they were really big lollipops - you know, the kind you get at the carnival that are stuck atop a dowel rod. As if that weren't enough, they setup one of those text mailboxes where you could text the word "ASSHAT" to the mailbox's number and you could listen to a "yo momma" joke about Votan's dearly departed Oma. Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that the NTADE's humiliation of Votan was utter and complete. If you have any other good ideas for illustrating this point, feel free to add them using the "add comment" link below. Personally, I'm already growing tired of this story and it's only half done. Christ, does anyone want to finish this for me?
