You know what's wild? You never see a positive drug story on the news, do you? Ever seen one? Isn't that weird? Don't you think that's strange? I mean, the news is supposed to be objective. Isn't it supposed to be THE news, but every drug story is negative? Well hold it, I've had some killer times on drugs. I'm not promoting it, but I'm not denying it. Let's hear the whole fucking story.

Same LSD story everytime we've all heard it, "young man on acid, thought he could fly, jumped out of a building. What a tragedy." What a dick. Don't go blaming acid on this fuckin' guy. Hey, hey, hey, if he thought he could fly, let him take off from the ground and check it out first. Fuck it. He's an idiot; he's dead. Good. You don't see ducks lined up to catch elevators to fly north. Do you? ....

Let's hear the whole story. Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To hear what it's all about perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting, just once? Today a young man on acid realized all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness, experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death; life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

Wow! Did you see the news?