RESTON, VIRGINIA -- Dennis, a cashier capable of making historical small talk over small dollar amounts, has left his position at Safeway of Hunter's Woods Plaza, according to well-placed sources. Dennis earned his remarkable reputation after ringing up a customer for $10.66 and remarking that it was "a bad year for England." On another occasion he observed that there was "not much happening" during the seventh century after a late-night sale of breadcrumbs and sundries came to $6.53.

Customers recall that Dennis was a source of information beyond the merely historical. When checkout line conversation turned to tortoises, he recalled a living tortoise of Steve Irwin's named Darwin which had been collected by the naturalist in the 1830s. He was also observed to be conversant in matters of produce prices, coupons, and membership card applications.

Dennis left his job at Safeway sometime "before Christmas," as explained by another evening cashier, between shouts of "write corporate" to impatient customers upset about the small number of lanes open.